JULY 28, 2018 ELENA MOSANER
Hypnosis and the Size of a Man’s Penis
Article by Elena Mosaner
No, this article won’t help you increase, decrease, reshape or inflate your penis. Hypnotic intervention is not an effective tool when it comes to the size of your tool. It doesn’t work for the size management of any part of your body, except hypnotherapy for weight loss and muscle gain, in spite of the exaggerated unscientific claims in some parts of the hypnosis industry in the past.
Over the years I have worked with clients on different issues, from weight loss to smoking cessation, bad habits and fears and various forms of performance anxiety. This includes male sexual performance anxiety, which accounts for roughly 20% of my clients. Most of them feel insecure because of the bad experience in the past. The bad experience is essentially a lack of erection during intimacy or not lasting long enough, usually caused by a man being stressed out and “in the head,” or tired, maybe after a few alcoholic drinks, or simply feeling insecure about his physical appearance and thus overthinking at the moment of intimacy.
With sexual performance anxiety, a man is usually struggling with an overplay of a nagging tape that runs over and over in his head, saying things like “it won’t work,” “I will fail,” “I don’t want to look bad,” etc. There is often shame, embarrassment and even pressure associated with sexual performance, causing what the client perceives as an erectile dysfunction. In reality, this so-called erectile dysfunction has nothing to do with any physical dysfunction, but rather a mental blocking in the mind that prevents a man from being present, having his physical functions intact, and enjoying himself with his partner. It is more of a cognitive dysfunction than a physical one, because clients usually report that this problem happens only when they are with a partner.
Half of the clients who have a sexual performance anxiety are actually insecure about the size of their penis. One of my clients shared that, once in a social setting a girl said out loud that she “cared about the size” and how important it was for her that a man was “well-endowed down there.” This comment made my client feel silently and deeply insecure, because he believed he was not “well-endowed.” What’s more is that later he and the girl started to develop attraction towards each other and began going out together. She really liked him. But what do you think his experience was like during this time? While he liked her too, he would go through a daily nightmare, fearing their first sexual encounter, “Will she like me? Will she accept me?” And even worse than that, when the encounter was finally about to happen, he could not have an erection. He was so caught up in what was in his head.
This type of commentary on the man’s size has been around in media and our culture since the earliest graffiti in ancient Rome and Greece. Men and women jokingly make comments socially to one another about certain size being desirable or not. I cannot speak for men, but women, shouldn’t we be more gentle about this?
In today’s world, we are becoming more respectful and accepting when it comes to gender issues, race issues, body issues, mental challenges issues and etc. There are certain words that are no longer appropriate to use in social and public conversations out of respect to people’s feelings, differences, history and preferences. Do we really need another “me too” movement in defense of men’s penis size? I find it being borderline abusive from our culture, public and women that blurb out demeaning comments that can hurt a man to his core. This needs to stop, just like the prevalent sexual harassment towards women in the work environment has been brought into the light, with justice being served with the many recent events of the Weinsteins of the world. As a result, more women feel more secure, feeling they are finally being heard and that their complaints are being regarded fairly and they are being treated equally to the powerful men being accused.
Men and women come in different and unique shapes, forms and sizes, colors and heights. This goes for “down there,” just like our faces, hands and feet are all different sizes and etc. Sometimes, you look for a fit and match, other times you accept a misfit because when you love someone it doesn’t matter if your woman is taller than you, or if her skin is lighter or darker etc. All in all, in our developed society we have learned to respect our differences in many shapes, forms and colors or sexual preferences. It is time that we learn to relate and speak respectfully about the person as a whole, and instead of being judgmental we better of staying curious about the unique nature of another human.
I have eventually helped my sexual performance client ( mentioned above) in a matter of two hypnosis sessions. He gained confidence through self-acceptance and positive ego-strengthening suggestions. Through hypnosis, he also processed suggestions for focus, and anchoring to the moment of joyful intimacy, while embracing the force of the masculine power and the conquer of the surrendered feminine. I also taught him how to let go of the negative “tape” in the head and focus on his partner rather than “performance.” At the end of the day, it is not about performance, but joy, pleasure and connection. Eventually, the girl he was dating, has apologized for her past comments and even more – she truly enjoyed his company.